|The Eyes of March
||[Mar. 5th, 2004|11:44 pm]
|[||how am I feeling?
|[||rockin' the boombox
|||||John Mayer - Love Soon||]|
A round of applause, Ladies and Gents...
After 22 years, I am FINALLY coming out of my shell. Well, in my opinion of coming out of my shell, for what that's worth. I am learning to flirt. Novice, I am. But not benched. Not anymore.
Tweed Hat came into my work last week.
For those of us that know him not, I will fill in a little background. The first time I saw him he was wearing this tweed fedora (attn rocket scientists: he is aptly named). Babyfaced though a little scruffy, studious eyes and full of patience. Mysterious. Who was he. I noticed him instantly. He waited in line - made sincere eye contact. Because I am a hot blooded girl in her early 20's, of COURSE I was excited to wait on him. I might be shy, but I'm not the little ignored girl on the playground.
He had this full enveloping smile and an aire following his presence that I don't think I've felt in a man. All he did was order coffee but I felt it - in my GUT - that he was watching me. Why? God knows why... maybe I had a booger hanging out or a roll of fat that was so distracting he just couldn't keep his eyes away... or maybe he liked what he saw. "On ME? What??" I think. But I got his coffee and I smiled back focusing VERY hard on the anti-blush mantra. "If you blush, you will realize you're blushing and you will blush more." and stayed focused - like a soldier I handed him his change. He smiled, it could have lit up the room and even if it DID I wouldn't have noticed. I was married to the mantra, that was my lover until he finished putting creamer in his cup to go and was gone. It was how I survived. Defense mechanism? Survival of the fittest? I haven't found a categoy for my crutch - sans delerium - but I have a feeling it's a passing thing. A stepping stone. And this is how I met Tweed Hat.
At work last week, the phone rang - oh what a lovely voice on the other end. A to go order? Ugh. Not again... but I was polite and good w/my phone manners. Who was this guy? He had a great voice and actually made conversation on the phone. I took note of his name and order and made a mental note to check out who it was when they come in to pick up their food. I always check out to go order boys if they have a cute voice on the phone - I'm hot blooded, remember? I forget about the call as my shift rolls by. Charlie and I talk, I giggle, I make lattes. In walks Tweed Hat. Charlie got excited... he KNOWS who Tweed Hat is. He makes eye contact w/me and walks right up to the register. I'm prepared. I'm ready for him. Gimme what you got, baby, I'm wearing my deodorant. He smiles - asks me how I am. And out of my mouth flies this coy oozing person... sweet and friendly but definatley thinking other things. I smiled, I didn't blush but omg. I FLIRTED. And HE flirted. WE flirted. There was actually some 1 on 1 flirting going on in my life last Saturday night with Tweed Hat. Granted, his to go order may have been for him and his "girlfriend" (who, for now, remains variable since the truth of her existance is pending) and their romantic Saturday night alone. But Charlie heard it - and was impressed. I FLIRTED. Woo!
All week I've been priding myself. It feels pretty awesome. But I knew there was another obsticle I had yet to endeavor. The REALLY hot guy that comes into work. The probably-actor-could-be-gay-except-that-he-says-dude guy. The I-actually-had-the-nerve-to-wave-at-him-and-he-winked-and-I-blushed-so-hardcore-that-I-hid-behind-the-espresso-machine-because-I-realized-I-was-blushing-and-blushed-more guy.
In he walked today. Observe the little lioness stretch her muscles and sharpen her teeth. I grabbed the register. Oh, I knew he was there and no one was going to keep me from this. It was a challenge and I was interested in seeing how well I'd do. He greeted me with a familiar smile. He recognized me - and without my mask of crimson! "Hey! How's it goin!". But that's him. He's incredibly friendly. The birds should escort him in, he's gregarious - not to mention considerate and, yes, still incredibly hot. He was flirtatious, but I kept up. He leaned close to me on the counter and made eye contact. I welcomed it. He was charming... "This order is gonna be really weird so I'm gonna try really hard not to confuse you.." he laughed politely. And so it begins. He makes a joke - I laugh just enough. I ask a question, he encourages my certainty. The phone rang, the customers lined up behind him, the busboys tried to ask me a million questions... but I stuck to the task and stayed focused. His order was going to be PERFECT. And that's where I began. We finished up and I kept an eye on him... he sat in the next room. I saw him fiddeling w/some dishes on a table that needed to be bussed. I tried to tell myself "no, don't do it, you're lame..." but I did it. After waiting a few seconds I grabbed a towel and off I went to bus his table. He was at the one next to it now, reading, or doing whatever it is that he's so into doing ... that makes his eyebrow furrow and he gives his undivided attention to all the time. Playfully, like one would do to a little kid (less demeaning, stick w/me...) "Did you want to sit here?" I ask, with a smile. Oh, I bet it sparkled, I was so proud... "Oh!" he chuckles... then looks confused, "I think I've found a place. I've been everywhere today, I don't know what the hell I'm doing." Gooey melt blushy feeling coming on... down, down... go away.... I laughed "Ok.." I said and shuffled off w/my dishes. My shift was ending. What do I do. I collect my stuff and walk around the restaurant floor as much as I possibly can. Delivering the last bit of food to the last few customers left on my shift, any excuse, occasionally looking to see if he looks - and if he looks at girls because that, much like Tweed Hat's girlfriend, is also pending. I deliver his food to him. He's so polite, so gracious. Says thank you and smiles.. I just run off. I lapsed a little so I must catch up again. I go to the store in the back, talk to the girl who works there, buy some insence... come back out and he's gone! But his stuff's there! Oh I wanna poke through, just to KNOW! But I don't because I know he's out front and I can find him there. I make a big goodbye and leave the front this time. He's there.. his back is turned. I make like I forgot something. Turn around, go back in and grab a paper. Head back towards the door and BOOM I smack. right. into. him. He looks suprised, recognizes me, smiles and says "Oh, sorry! Oooh.. goodbye!!" and touches my shoulder. I smiled and said goodbye.
Ladies and Gentleman, we have made contact.
I probably have an ice cube's chance in hell with either of these guys - but the fact that I was able to muster enough courage to TALK - to FLIRT - with either one of these guys is almost unfounded based on the Laws of Ginger. Charlie taught me about "the eyes" that women give men. And I'm learning. And it's starting to work - because they flirted back. No ketchup in my face, hot coffee dumped on my head, crowd of people encircled around me pointing fingers and clutching their stomachs to soothe their roaring hysteria.... all that was left was me, a hot blooded female, ready to come out of her shell.
The Eyes of March will be seen again.